When we threw our children-themed department Christmas party last week, we got everybody in the mood by asking them to submit photos of themselves as kids and then sticking them all over the room. This was me, at my First Communion:
That nun was my teacher and her name was Sister Elizabeth (and still is, I suspect). And she was – and I’m sorry to be harsh here, but needs must – a bit of a dick. She was the kind of adult that, even as a young child, you look at and think, ‘man, you’re a geek’. I don’t remember getting on very well with me, and if memory serves me right I think that one of the reasons was her continued insistence that, because I wrote with my left hand, I was somehow likely to ‘disrupt’ the person sitting next to me – so I always had to sit at the end of a row of desks. What an idiot – she was one step away from strapping my left arm to my side and forcing me to write with my right hand, like it was still the olden days.
My abiding dislike of this woman is for another reason, though; she taught us a really dorky rhyme that, to this day, is burned in my brain. And because I’m such a compassionate and caring soul, I’m going to share it with you:
If you’ve got a job to do, do it now
If it’s one you wish was through, do it now
If you’re sure the job’s your own
Then tackle it alone
Don’t hem and haw and groan
Do it now!
Isn’t that exactly the kind of thing that you’d expect from a nerdy young nun? And what a load of nonsense! Who amongst us doesn’t embrace the dark art of procrastination and do our best to rope in other people to help us with the work that is, by rights, our own, huh? If that’s wrong, do you really want to be right?